| | A couple of days ago I visited a website where gay men chat with one another, hoping to arouse another man, somewhere in the world, enough that he will, in turn, say things that will arouse them. I don't really know why I did it; I guess I was hoping to be aroused myself but I don't really think I expected to be.
Their names were all so remarkable. "HotSlave4u" and "dirty_dad" and "assplayboi." I was like, "I didn't know that people actually did this."
Some people talked to me. Most of them got bored when I wouldn't let them call me. Why should they call me? A voice on a phone can't be "luv2suk." No voice has that name. That is a text name. One guy kept asking me if I had ever seen any jocks getting beaten up by nerds. That is a weird fetish. I told him I hadn't, because I hadn't, because that doesn't happen, really, but I think I was supposed to lie because he just kept asking, like "Are you SURE?"
I didn't end up really enjoying my time there, sexually, but it was interesting. I keep wanting to go back and just watch them. Look at the usernames, ask them what their fantasies are. There's something so curious about people reaching out for gratification into this weird void of everything humanity wishes it weren't--by which I mean the internet, particularly any part of the internet that has anything to do with sex--and finding other people who are reaching in, too. It's like this weird grimy dirty place where our shadows aren't our shadows, but rather, they are who we are.
But I don't want to mislead them. I don't think I want anyone else, asking me over and over if I am sure I've never seen their fantasy occur in real life. Maybe my username can be "Not_Here_4_ur_pleasure."
P.S. The title of the post is a pun, about math, and privacy. Yessss.
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| | Posted 7/9/2009 10:00 PM - 30 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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