happenstance8's Xanga

A comment on CNN's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" article

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:26:57 GMT

"I agree with Johnathan. Keep DAST. I love gay people think they should be treated fairly, but if you turn them lose with no restriction than katy bard the door. They will be like a person who lost weight. talk about in your face, my face, and our kids faces.

However, please respect them."

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

EDIT:

Yes, this is a very real comment on an article on CNN about how Kristen Gillibrand, the senator chosen by New York Gov. David Paterson to replace Hillary Clinton, is pushing for the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. There are two types of commentary I have on this issue.

Type I: Serious.

Now, first, I should say that I think there are a few pretty good reasons NOT to repeal DADT, not the least of which is that DADT was actually an advance, because the previous law prevented gays from serving at all, and this one allows them to serve closeted. Therefore, a repeal isn't what we need so much as a new, even better law. But I think that this is actually what's going on, and repeal is just the easiest way of putting it out there as a sound-byte, so it's all semantics.

My second complaint is that while the "repeal" would be politically popular and require little political capital on its surface, it would require a restructuring of military bases (in the new law's most extreme form) or a reprinting of some of the paperwork (in its least). Most likely, something in-between. It doesn't seem like any of this effort would have to be expended, but after reading some of the comments from (purported) actual military personnel on the issue, it seems like most of them would want to be able to avoid having a roommate who is gay, and that the gays in the military, once out, would want some way to ensure they wouldn't get, you know, lynched. Which to me seems like, given the current political climate(where the democrats eventually win, but only after the Republicans and blue dogs hassle them to do a bunch of silly things and jump through hoops for weeks), would end up with separate quarters or something like that. And we all know how this can tend to go wrong, the restructuring phase of a politically popular law, where a policy comes head-to-head with reality. (remember Guantanamo?) It could be another drain on Obama's political capital which could be spent somewhere that it would do more good. But perhaps this is why Gillibrand is leading the charge here, instead of Obama himself?

So all of my concerns seem to be being dealt with--at least if I'm optimistic--and I am in favor of allowing gays to serve openly in the military, so I hope the administration DOES find a way to do it without a huge leak in political capital (maybe they are trying to slip it in while everyone is still arguing over health care?).

Type II: Making fun of the guy who posted that comment.

I shall now take the comment peice by peice and respond, meanly.

"I agree with Johnathan. Keep DAST."

DAST? Don't Ask... So Tell? I don't even know, man. I mean, I realize S and D are right next to each other but you just typed a capital D. You didn't even have to move your finger between the last one and the one you typed as S. And of course, that's not to mention the fact that you could have easily spell-checked this before submitting it.

"I love gay people think they should be treated fairly, but if you turn them lose with no restriction than katy bard the door."

See, this is why spell-check is important. It's one thing to say DAST instead of DADT, but "than katy bard the door?" I don't have any clue what you are trying to say here. What does Shakespeare have to do with any of this? Anyway, beyond that this whole sentence reeks of disrespect for homosexuals. I mean even just the phrase "turn them lose (sic)" likens gays to animals who need to be controlled (in this case because their sexual urges would overcome them and they would cause harm to all the normal, non-sex-obsessed straight people.)

"They will be like a person who lost weight. talk about in your face, my face, and our kids faces."

People who lose weight talk about their weight loss in your kids' faces? It's just... I mean... maybe that happened to you, but I don't think that analogy works in the general sense. Plus bringing up children in the argument about homosexuality, as if they somehow need to be protected (again likening gays to predators, which they are not) is really fucking classy.

"However, please respect them."

I say again: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I mean, I know it's just some random dude on the comments of CNN, and I shouldn't be upset about it, because almost all the comments on CNN are like "LOLOLOL Srah Palin showd u media!!!1! PALIN/LIMBAUGH 2012" but it's really indicative of the people--and there are a lot of them--who honestly beleive they aren't prejudiced against homosexuals when they really really are. Which is lame. Which I guess is my entire point. If you're going to be a homophobe, own it.

Of course, a lot of this kind of homophobe are the ones who get really offended when you call them out, and say they are being persecuted just because they're straight--after all, they're perfectly okay with homosexuality "behind closed doors." Ugh.

Anyway, this is all bothering me a bit more than usual, because last night I was having a pleasant night of drinking for very cheap (hooray for Mondays!) and a kid from my chemistry class last semester bumped into me. I was with friends so my sexuality was not at all a secret, and when it came up he was all shocked and then was trying to be nice about it but was clearly disgusted which felt pretty... yucky. You know what I mean? He wasn't like "oh you're a fag" but he was like "I mean how do you do that?" and all squicked out as if I was diseased or something.

LAME.

Discrete Sex

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 02:00:08 GMT

A couple of days ago I visited a website where gay men chat with one another, hoping to arouse another man, somewhere in the world, enough that he will, in turn, say things that will arouse them. I don't really know why I did it; I guess I was hoping to be aroused myself but I don't really think I expected to be.

Their names were all so remarkable. "HotSlave4u" and "dirty_dad" and "assplayboi." I was like, "I didn't know that people actually did this."

Some people talked to me. Most of them got bored when I wouldn't let them call me. Why should they call me? A voice on a phone can't be "luv2suk." No voice has that name. That is a text name. One guy kept asking me if I had ever seen any jocks getting beaten up by nerds. That is a weird fetish. I told him I hadn't, because I hadn't, because that doesn't happen, really, but I think I was supposed to lie because he just kept asking, like "Are you SURE?"

I didn't end up really enjoying my time there, sexually, but it was interesting. I keep wanting to go back and just watch them. Look at the usernames, ask them what their fantasies are. There's something so curious about people reaching out for gratification into this weird void of everything humanity wishes it weren't--by which I mean the internet, particularly any part of the internet that has anything to do with sex--and finding other people who are reaching in, too. It's like this weird grimy dirty place where our shadows aren't our shadows, but rather, they are who we are.

But I don't want to mislead them. I don't think I want anyone else, asking me over and over if I am sure I've never seen their fantasy occur in real life. Maybe my username can be "Not_Here_4_ur_pleasure."

P.S. The title of the post is a pun, about math, and privacy. Yessss.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: A Recap

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:52:09 GMT

by Twilight_fan_69

Okay so the whole book Harry likes this Cho Chang girl but she's totally sad because Harry, like, killed her last bf or whatever. But then he starts this club where everybody watches him do cool shit and so she gets all impressed and starts totally macking on him. But then he's all distracted because of Voldemort who HATES TRUE LOVE and so he goes on this date with Cho but he keeps talking about Hermione and she gets all pissed, like for real, and meanwhile Ginny starts dating some nobody named Michael Corner. Okay and then a whole bunch of stupid stuff happens which is basically just a distraction because JK Rowling didn't know how to write what would happen next: Cho steals Ginny's boyfriend. And Ginny starts going out with a black dude! You just know she's trying to piss off her mom. I bet it works! Can't wait for the next one!

Just kidding, I wrote that, for humor, out of boredom.

Ideas

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:26:30 GMT

I am formulating yet another fantastic IDEA.

And normally I wouldn't bother mentioning it here, but the last time I mentioned an IDEA on here, I ended up being quite DEDICATED to it. 2000 miles worth of dedicated.

Still, I think I am going to announce it on youtube. So WAIT FOR THAT.

Optical Illusions

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:27:12 GMT

This blog post is entirely so I can show you a picture I took at a gas station in Minnesota. Here it is:

Now, this doesn't seem all that exciting, since International Parts Dealer stores are found all over the country. But thanks to a well-placed dumpster lid and a profound ignorance of the existence of said IPD stores before this, I definitely thought it was called International Pants Dealer. That would have been much more exciting.

As an afterthought, you should all look at the pentapus I painted on this tile using my own hands and skill and such things: Only wait you can't because the picture won't upload because Xanga hates me. If you want to see it, come to my house. (I am talking to you, Chapman.) The end, forever, until I post again, which will be soon hopefully.

EDIT: If you have time, you should look at this speech: http://web.archive.org/web/20080213082423/http://www.marginalia.org/dfw_kenyon_commencement.html by David Foster Wallace at the commencement of Kenyon College in 2005. I don't agree with everything he says, and parts of it fall into your typical cliche commencement speech boringness, but the parts that don't, if you can sift them out, are really worth examining.

Work

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 17:16:51 GMT

Today I am at work. We still don't have internet at the new house, but that should be changing in the next couple of days. I hope. I mean, I am technically in charge of making sure that we get it so really what I am hoping is that I am less lazy today than I usually am.

Brought nerdy trekkie boy up with me last night to hang out. It hasn't been going that well. He gets on okay with my friends and isn't a total embarassment or anything like that, but I think our topics of conversation are running dry. I'm starting to think he and I may not have long-term potential. But then, this is just following a pattern that I very very frequently observe in my relationships, which goes like this:

Step 1: Boy contacts me on myspace or facebook or something, and he is adooorable.

Step 2: Talk online. We have soooo much in common.

Step 3: Meet. He isn't as cute as in his profile picture but whatever, he is still hot and we get along well.

Step 4: Oh god does he like me? He probably doesn't like me. How could anyone like me? He is going to get tired of me and ditch me and I will be devastated, forever.

Step 5: Okay I think he likes me. Daydream about us eventually driving to the northeast to get gay-married and bringing him to Christmas to make my family feel awkward.

Step 6: Actually he is kind of boring. NEVERMIND.

EDIT: Repeat steps 5 and 6 as necessary.

And in any case I have other things I want to do today and instead I will have to entertain him. This is why boys (or other people, in general) are a WASTE OF TIME.

Except you, readers, of course. I love you.

One of the things I want to go do today is look for a keyboard. I've almost written all of my first album, so it's time to start recording... which means I will need some higher quality equipment.

NO SEX JOKES PLEASE.

(Edited because I went back home and he was sooo cute and I went back to step five, and I realized that I usually cycle between steps five and six like eighty times before my head implodes and they dump me for being too neurotic and weird.)

Moving

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:06:37 GMT

Don't know how long it will be until we get internet. Could be tomorrow; could be a week.

Expect delays.

Okay okay!

Fri, 29 May 2009 17:18:40 GMT

So I have not posted in a long time! I realize this. I am torn between finishing up the deleted scenes from my trip and just blogging about other shit.

I will probably just blog about other shit! But there are some other stories from the trip that could be good to tell. Like the guy who asked if I had a girlfriend and then started polishing my thumbnail.

It is a dilemma, you see.

On top of that, I have been working kind of a lot, plus visiting my family and I went on a date that may have lasted about twice as long as dates normally last (Hint: It did), which was awesome, so things have been kind of hectic in a good way lately. But good way or not, it has made blogging hard! So, anyway, I will get on that. But first, tonight is the Ben Folds concert! So you will have to entertain yourself (in a pure and nonsexual way) with pictures of the haircut that I got in the Mall of America:

And this last one doesn't show all of my hair but it is objectively awesome:

Myspace photo shoooot

Day 2: Deleted Scenes

Wed, 13 May 2009 14:05:01 GMT

Okay so the internet was having some very serious problems yesterday, so I didn't get to post my video from yesterday, or post on here. It was very unfortunate. The video is uploaded now, though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gayNOyjmD_s&feature=channel_page

And today a giant thunderstorm is coming, so pretty much none of us are going anywhere, at all. Meaning if there is a "day 3" video, it will be very boring.

So yesterday essentially featured a half-hour walk down to the "cultural district," called "Broad Ripple." There they have lots of little cafes and restaurants and very cool-looking but overall boring and stupid shops. And a few really good ones. But, like, the bookstore, for instance, was arranged awesomely, with shelves under staircases and other such neat things. But they also had like maybe 200 books in the whole place. So not really a great store even if it looked really cool. And most of the stores followed this theme.

I went to a coffee shop and though I wanted a lemonade (since I had been walking all day) they convinced me to try an "Arnold Palmer" which is lemonade mixed with iced tea. I don't recommend it. But I pretended to like it because the employees were all so enthusiastic about it.

I tried to take pictures of people wearing differently colored shirts, and it was all very difficult for me. Most everyone was very nice, with a few exceptions. The women in the orange and indigo shirts, who were at the bookstore when I was there, asked me all these questions and then told me they were jealous of my life, so that was pretty awesome. haha.

Indy-500-guy was a total dick. I was like "uh, for this scavenger hunt I'm supposed to find someone who is a nascar fan, and since you have on a nascar shirt, I was wondering if--"

"Oh, is this a NASCAR shirt? Cause here I thought my shirt said INDY 500." *looks at me with his stupid douchebag face.

So then I took his picture anyway, cause fuck him.

Anyway, here are some things I saw that were interesting enough to photograph, but not interesting enough to film (mostly from the walk there or the walk back):

This mural is the best one of a series of murals on the side of a building. The title is "Animal Picnic."

First, I thought the logo was pretty sweet. But more importantly, if you look at the very next sign, it's another dentist's office. Like right next door. That's gotta be tense. I wonder if people ever stand outside needing a cavity, uh, repaired, and just wonder which one to go to, and then both the dentists would come out and try and entice them to go to their offices, with candy, for irony.

That's right, whoever drives this motorcycle both has horns AND loves food.

This guy's door is a light bulb.

LUNA is the name of the incredibly awesome, totally badass, amazing-in-every-way music store that I stopped at at which I stopped. I got a sticker just like that, but purple, from the obscenely hot clerk who sold me a CD. (Valentiger, a band local to Indianapolis. They're pretty good.) Where should I put the sticker? Suggestions?

That's my hostel. From the outside.

There were some other really cool pictures, including one of a Christian Science Church (!) that you can actually see in the background of my video when I'm talking about Indy-500-guy. But half of my pictures won't upload so oh well, this is not a photoblog anyway.

Last bit of news, we got a new roommate last night. He's an obscenely old man from Ohio, and he never fucking stops talking. And even when he isn't talking, he is making noise. Right now he is fucking sitting in a chair on the other side of the room counting his fucking change and it's like clink clink clink. And he keeps asking me to do stuff with him, like put in half a load of laundry or if he can hitch a ride to Wisconsin and I want to be like "NO because the whole car ride you will NOT SHUT UP" but instead the conversation went like:

Me: "No."

Him: "And why is that?"

Me: *long pause while I think of an answer* "Because what if you're a murderer?"

Him: "You should be able to tell from just talking to people if they're okay."

Me: "Yeah... No I really don't think that's true."

Him: "Well, you're new to hostel-ing. You'll gain that ability with experience. You know, when I was young I BLAH BLAH BLAH I NEVER SHUT UP."

And now because of the storm and not being able to go anywhere, we get to spend all day together! Hooray! Vomit.

Day 1: Deleted Scenes

Tue, 12 May 2009 04:27:13 GMT

Okay, I think I'm going to use this blog to cover the things that don't make it into my videos, either because they're too long or because I didn't film them. So, first, you should watch my video, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54DMn5eLi40

So, first off, I ended up having to leave late, because apparently reserving a spot in a hostel is suspicious and gets your card flagged so you can't use it, so I had to go the bank to get it unflagged, which took forever.

Then, of course, as soon as I was on the interstate for a hundreds-of-miles road trip, the "check engine" light comes on. It is too late! There is no turning back now! Besides, that light has been on tons of times before when nothing has actually been wrong! I will ignore it, and everything will be fine! (Despite what this paragraph may indicate to you, this actually *hasn't* come back to bite me... YET.)

Then, about two hours later, I hit Freistatt. Well, I hit Monett, where someone told me how to get to Freistatt, which was nearby. ANYWAY, so I wander around, as you can see in the video, lookin' at lightning rods and shit, and a bunch of places are just cold fucking closed, because there's like ten people in this town, and they just plain do not need anything at 10 am that cannot wait until 11 or 12 or whenever they get around to opening up, and if they did, they probably all have each other's phone numbers and could just, you know, call and have them open up the store.

Then, right at the end of the row of like 14-ish buildings that make up the town, something WAS open: a seed supply store, for farming, I guess. Inside, three older women were talking. Two of them appeared to work there, while one was just visiting. They took quite a while to notice me, but I was attempting to be immersed in the laid-back, no-rush, open-our-store-and-help-people-whenever culture so I was cool about it.

So generally my strategy for getting information from people is going to be to explain to them that I'm driving all over the midwest doing challenges, and hope that that will be impressive enough that they want to be involved. So I told the woman what I was doing and what I needed to know and she was, uh, not impressed.

So she starts explaining to me how a lightning rod works, and the whole time I am like, "uh, okay, but" because I want to know why this town has like a bajillion and nowhere else has any, but she just keeps telling me about how there used to be so many more, and how there was a controversy because some people thought they attracted lightning, and how they used to have glass balls on the base of them to help with the insulation ("Isn't that right, Adele?" she confirmed with the larger woman in the back. Wikipedia disagrees, claiming the glass balls are just decoration) and how big the cables are that connect them to the ground, and how electricity likes to go toward the ground you see and THANKS I AM NOT RETARDED.

So then I decided that all the buildings had lightning rods because of a weird isolated case of Mass Generational Dumb.

You know, like how a woman has a really small frying pan and so she cuts off the edges of her sausages or whatever so they'll fit, and someone else sees her do that and thinks she must know something that they don't, so they start doing it, and they pass it onto their kids and eventually a whole town (because nobody ever moves, I guess, in this theory) is just cold cutting the edges of sausages for no goddamn reason.

Only with lightning rods.

So then I drove for about eight more hours straight. I saw a lot of cows along the way, and a lot of bulletin boards for Jesus, or adult toy stores.

In St. Louis, my GPS steered me off course and I got horribly lost for about three minutes, before my GPS was like "WAIT FUCK MY BAD NVM" and the whole three minutes were all quite unpleasant, because St. Louis is made of chaos. I did get this picture while being lost:

It isn't a great picture, at all, in any way, but it does demonstrate that I got to drive pretty much right by that awesome arch. I really like that arch, for basically no reason.

Also, southern Illinois is extremely rural. And kind of Arkansas-y, as evidenced by this glorious monstrosity:

Like, it's just sitting on the side of the road. Like, "sup dude? Just drivin'? That's cool. I'm just hangin' out, bein' a cross, you know." Amazing. At least the one in Arkansas is on top of a big hill that overlooks the interstate, like at least you feel a little intimidated.

Oh my god this post is already so long... so many deleted scenes. Well, instead of describing the hostel today, perhaps I will meet more people tomorrow and have a more complete picture for you. I will mention, though, that I am supposed to have two roommates, but it's like 1:30 am and neither are back yet from wherever they went today... apparently they stay over at other places pretty frequently. Pretty awesome.